Liebling’s Law
If you try hard enough you can always manage to boot yourself in the posterior.
Source: New York Post September 9th 1968
A variant requiring even greater athletic ability, and also attributed to Mr. Liebling: “If you are smart enough you can kick yourself in the pants grab yourself by the back of the collar and throw yourself out on the sidewalk” (in Louis D. Rubin Jr. ed. with Jerry Leath Mills A Writer’s Companion, 1995).
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