Senator Sorghum’s Laws of Politics
The sayings of Senator Sorghum, the prototypical southern senator created by Philander Chase Johnson, enjoyed considerable popularity in the early 1900s but have been unjustly forgotten. In the interest of rehabilitating the distinguished gentleman's reputation, here are some nuggets of wisdom from Senator Sorghum's Primer of Politics or Helpful Hints on the Science of Not Getting the Worst of It (1906):
Politics is the art of turning influence into affluence.
Every practical politician should frankly confess to a profound respect for money, for he is a bad workman who quarrels with his tools. (See also Bacon’s Law and Clinton’s Law of Politics.)
A good memory is often a great help, but knowing just when to forget things sometimes counts for more.
Anybody can keep a promise, but it sometimes requires an artist to break one.
Never do anything that popular opinion and your own sense of right do not approve. Hire someone else to do it.
Occasionally a reputation for great wisdom is obtained by doing absolutely nothing and thereby avoiding mistakes. Corollary: It is safer to be criticised for not doing anything than it is to be blamed for doing something badly. (See also Jefferson’s Ukase and Byron Johnson’s Laws of Bureaucratic Success.)
Don’t complain that you are not getting what you deserve. Your impressions in such matters may be misleading. If you saw what you deserve coming, maybe you would dodge. (See also De Maistre’s Law.)
When in doubt for an argument, turn to statistics. They sound wise and very few people will do the arithmetic necessary to contradict you. (See also the last of the epigrams under Disraeli’s Second Law.)
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