(Theodore) Bernstein’s First Law
Theodore Bernstein
A falling body always rolls to the most inaccessible spot.
Burns’s Law
Robert Burns
The best-laid schemes o’ mice an’ men gang aft agley.
Cannon’s Law
Anon
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tyre, the next morning you will have a flat tyre.
Cayo’s Law
Anon
The only things that start on time are those that you’re late for.
Chisholm’s Laws of Human Interaction
Francis P. Chisholm
1. If anything can go wrong, it will.
2. When things are going well, something will go wrong.
3. Purposes as understood by the purposer will be judged otherwise by others.
DeCaprio’s Law
Annie DeCaprio
Everything takes more time and money.
Drazen’s Law of Restitution
Louis D. Rubin
The time it takes to rectify a situation is inversely proportional to the time it took to do the damage.
Ettore’s Law of Lines [Queues]
Barbara Ettore
The other line moves faster.
Fetridge’s Law
Claude Fetridge
Important things that are supposed to happen do not happen especially when people are looking or conversely things that are supposed to not happen do happen especially when people are looking.
Finagle’s Law
Anon
If anything can go wrong with an experiment it will.
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