Neely’s Laws
Gerald Neely
1. If the project works, you must be using the wrong equipment.
2. The accessibility during recovery of small parts which fall from the workbench varies directly with the size of the part and inversely with its importance to the completion of the work in progress.
3. The nearest living relative of the football player you are criticising is sitting directly in front of you in the football stadium.
Plimpton’s Small Ball Theory
George Plimpton
The smaller the ball used in a sport, the better the book.
Rice’s Rule
Grantland Rice
It’s not important whether you win or lose but how you play the game.
Say’s Law
Jean Baptiste Say
Supply creates its own demand.
Scott’s Law
Mike Scott
In order to win 24 games, you have to win 18.
Stengel’s Laws
Charles Dillon Stengel
Good pitching will always stop good hitting and vice versa.
The secret of managing is to keep the guys who hate you away from the guys who are undecided.
You make your own luck. (See Rickey’s Law for more.)
[Re ball players breaking curfew] It ain’t getting it that hurts them, it’s staying up all night looking for it. They gotta learn that if you don’t get it by midnight, you ain’t going to get it and if you do it ain’t worth it.
I’ll never make the mistake of being seventy again. (Upon being fired by the New York Yankees in 1960, after having won ten American League pennants and seven world series in the preceding dozen years.)
Wells’s Virtual Law
H. G. Wells
The uglier a man’s legs are, the better he plays golf. It’s almost a law.
Ade’s Law
George Ade
Anybody can win unless there happens to be a second entry.
Andrews’s Canoeing Postulate
Alfred Andrews
No matter in which direction you start, it’s always against the wind coming back.
Go China!
Editor
As the Chinese and American basketball teams clashed last night in an epic encounter watched by the presidents of both countries (score: 101:70 to the visiting team), it is doubtful whether Raymond Chandler’s Law comes as much consolation to the host nation. More reflective of their feelings are the words of Vince Lombard : “Winning isn’t everything, it’s the only thing!” or even, to borrow from Mao, “Sport is the continuation of war by other means”. How quaint, and appealing, then to consider Grantland Rice’s old-fashioned views on the manner of sporting competition.
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